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Tim Kelly was walking thorough a dim passageway when someone spoke to him. They go in and sit down at the table. The blonde, however, wondering what he was doing, wandered into the kitchen to see him with his member immersed in a glass of milk. She could probably screw all night.
It was Valentine's day and Jim and Danielle's first date. Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband.
- Only one of them survived.
- The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton.
- Cupid gets a lot of credit for catalyzing true love, which overshadows his brother, Stupid, the god of ill-advised, drunken hook-ups.
Jim and Danielle realised that there was no sound. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. But, he was determined not to miss his date, so he put some lotion on his manhood and wrapped it in gauze. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Fancy nights out for girls are ten minutes of pure enjoyment followed by like four hours of bitching about their feet hurting in heels. No running water, no electricity, traduction etc.
They had planned a perfect evening. Finally, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever heard or smelt rippled through the dining room. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions. Two single women meet for coffee. Ease your escape to freedom! The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.
The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. He remembers his father's advice, austin dating service and chooses the first topic. The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida.
- Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.
- The local doctor is there in attendance.
- This explains the accident.
- Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape.
Courting and Marriage jokes
Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. He asks his father for advice. The boy then plays his last card.
We're going for spaghetti, is she ready? Actually, he misdialled, pensioners and dialed the local cricket club. So he figures he can wait until he drops her off.
She said sure, so he went to the restroom. The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. She'll screw all night if we let her.
26 Hilarious Jokes About Dating That Single And Taken People Can Laugh At
Newest funny jokes of the day. Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan. Before he went, he made the mistake of eating a jumbo can of beans.
Best dating jokes ever - - 34 Dating jokes - page 3
Now how do I tell him gently? After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle. It's and Bobby goes to pick up his date, dating management consultant Peggy Sue.
The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He asked to be excused, went into the kitchen and poured a tall, cool glass of milk. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive? What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?
More From Thought Catalog
The best dating jokes I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. Links to lots more dating humor at the bottom. Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating. These funny dating jokes will hook you up with some hot laughs.
Honesty is the key to a relationship. An Irishman had no idea his wife was having an affair, so he was mad with grief when coming home early one day he surprised her and her lover in the act. There once was this guy who was going on a date to the movies with a beautiful girl. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. When the movie was over, he goes to the bathroom again, still with a tremondously long line.
But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. The stranger turned out to be Santa Claus, stranded with a bag of toys. The line was long, so he went back to the lobby, got the food, and went back into the theatre. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date.